The clock's ticking away...

I am scared of the music exam tomorrow...

I fear those doors with those vault-like handles. So cold and unfeeling. The sense of being alone in that room, with the paper in my hands. The unpredictable paper; the paper of random outcomes, full of tadpole like etches dancing on lines of five, containing an art which spans only the forth dimension, time.

Time is an interesting thing. It acts in relative ways based on different people.

I was nervous the previous night that I probably took an hour to sleep (last time and only time I checked, 45 minutes passed). I can't imagine how long I'd take to sleep today.

It's funny how last year, I wasn't so prepared, but I felt a little ignorant, and the ignorance negated this pre-examination fear, but this time, I'm more prepared; I'm better than I was last year, but somehow I feel more afraid of the unpredictable factors.

Either way, I'll have to give it my best shot... and leave the rest all up to God.

The Long Overdue Post

Hi again,

I haven't updated in over a month... well that's because of the amount of work that was loaded onto me... that is if you don't count the gap between the last blog post and the crunch time that I didn't spent to make a blog post... and the other times when I was more free and was playing instead of making a blog post. Ah er, yes I have been rather busy.

Every poly semester, there is at least one crunch period when everything falls into one singularity, compressed within a short amount of time. I have only my teachers to blame... and my laziness. I think that I may be facing more crunch periods in the months to come... I just hope I don't fall into the event horizon and get crushed by the singularity... um, ok that made little sense... I guess I was trying to be corny but I can't.

Let's see what to blog... hmmm. Well I dug out my old tablet and it's quite fun to draw stuff on the computer with! Seems like I may be using it for the fun of it. :)

I remember one time I saw this insane thing on the way to school. I was just taking the 317 and saw a lorry go onto the opposite side of the road by accident, right beside my bus. It wasn't scary, just surprising... let my "artistry" explain...

Alright, so I can't really draw, but you can visualise the situation. He thought that he was going towards the correct lane, but by mistake went to the wrong one due to the funny shape of this junction (which my artistry fails to demonstrate). Thankfully no one was hurt. And I have no idea what happened to the lorry after that.

Hmm, I guess I don't have much else to say now except I have to sleep now. Goodnight.

Interesting day today

Now that's a rare thing to happen; me having interesting days.

So today started when I woke up at I can't remember what time but it doesn't seem too early. I already knew we were going Sim Lim to get some stuff. However we got kinda late... and I was hoping to be able to reach YF in time but I couldn't in the end... I was 2 hours late...

Anyway, so we went Sim Lim, Elsie picked up what she needed and we managed to get the router that I had recommended to replace. Then we were also looking for a graphics card, but as expected, it was sold out... I sourced this graphic card about a week earlier and I expected it to be gone this week because... computer geeks like me would grab these offers fast. But just as we started leaving, my dad and sis said we might as well try this shop. So this shop doesn't look that great, but I just went to ask the shop owner, and he didn't have it... but he had another graphics card which he recommended. He said it was on an offer just recently and that I'll be shocked at the price. I saw 7600GS, S$145. Whoa... this card is better than what I was originally looking for and it was slightly higher in price, but it is a good deal, since these cards usually sell at S$200 to S$300. So today we snatched a good deal...

Then well by then I was half an hour late for YF. We still had lunch to eat. One hour late. Then eat and walking back fast because of the drizzling and impending rain, reaching to church. Two hours late.

Went inside the main sanctuary and they were finishing introducing each others' YF activities and such (from what I assume). Looks like if I was early I might've been bored... I dunno. Then station games were fun, but I was kinda blur a lot. There was dinner and just playing soccer erm I mean football. Haha Pokemon football... ahem... then a little floorball... basically everyone was playing their own stuff (there was captain's ball).

Oh yeah I nearly forgot about the mini-message. It was interesting to see such a crowd. Really makes you feel nice to see other youths that believe in the same thing. Well... I can't really say the same thing, but at least it's interesting to see YFs from different BP churches.

It's getting late now, I better go sleep.

What a day...

Today is just a tiring day... I'm not exactly sure why...

I'm probably going to be hitting the bed soon. I'm just too tired to do other things. Tomorrow, begins the first day of the last week of work. It's quite fast when I look back...

I don't sound excited... that's because I am not. After this, school starts again. I feel cheated of my holidays. Well I guess it's somewhat better than actually going to work since school's rarely 8 to 6.

Well let's see what's there to be said... nothing much actually, except that a Korean was defeated in 3 games of Starcraft. Impossible...

Oh yeah, Sheri dragged me into joining Facebook. Honestly, I find it exactly like a Friendster with many more features. Obviously that must've made it far ahead of both Friendster and Myspace. I don't know exactly why I don't want to buy into these kinds of things... like why I left my dead Friendster account like a book that keeps falling on the floor every time I put it back on the table... alright that wasn't a very good analogy, but you understand I just said I leave it inactive. I'm thinking it's because of... peer influence... more like relative-peer influence (no idea if there's such a term for that)?

It's like the days of Pokemon, where it was seen as a kind of fad thing, and no one wants to be a part of it. It is obviously good, but people ignore that fact. Then when I tried it, I bought into it, and David and some others realised that it was actually something good. Same thing's happening for facebook... it's like... being seen as a fad. I know it's something good, but... I just can't seem to buy into it... I actually do fancy the idea of being able to use it, but will it work out well?

Anyway, I gotta go sleep soon... I'll probably be adding more links in... but the main problem is what/whose links I should put in...

Whyyy?

We went back from family gathering and we were talking about when we were young. My parents recalled the sad past that has passed me by, that I was (almost) totally oblivious to. Even though I don't remember most of it, and it doesn't appear to affect me in my subconscious memory, I just can't seem to take this heart-wrenching tale... no, real-life account. When we reached home, I just for some reason didn't want to hear anymore.

It made me sad. Why did I have to be around, to cause so much grief... pain, loss. A burden to so many. To steal everything from everyone. To be a liability... and I had to stay here to feel the hardships of this place...

Why did I have to exist?

And then I am reminded; I live because of a reason. There is a reason God didn't take me, and I must know that reason, and live for it.

Please help me all the way...

Starting... anew...

Finally, the move to blogspot is complete!

Well so what has happened so far? Hmm... holidays attachment started. The company is just somewhat crazy... first day of work, the HR just helped us to our positions, and it turns out that me and another girl has been posted to the commercial department, and they're working on the lawsuit the company is in (wha?) so that makes us busier than our other 2 friends who can move around and have to photocopy or sort things out while we slave away on a chair the whole day. Yes, the company is all messed up too. I think end of October they'll be going back to their country (they're a Swedish company) and another contractor might take over the work.

Speaking of which, the company is working on the Circle Line. Apparently they've done about 95% of the work already so we don't have to go site visits and stuff. The other 5% is being delayed thanks to some concrete company and a lawsuit or something. It's already a month into attachments and I still am confused.

Anyway, I'm glad that this is finally done... the site kind of represents a kind of change in my life. Apparently I'm occasionally haunted by the past I left behind. I need strength... from God...

Well I guess I'm needed now. See ya! :)