Another overdue update

I thought now would be a good time to blog: just before I go off to bed... let's start with last Thursday (8th May, or if you make Sunday the last day of the week, then this Thursday)... it was rather tiring, but thankfully it is usually the last day of my school week. As I went home, something prompted me to do some introspection... I don't remember what was that thing that triggered it... it made me think a lot of my past self, and it made me realise things I never realised about myself before... it made me sad... honestly, it was rather depressing.
I was a complete and utter fool to do something that messed up the rest of my life.
I went straight to the church for the skit rehearsal for the Parents' Nite Banquet. Apparently I ended up doing nothing. Big Jon called me to come but it was apparently a waste of time. Fortunately, the presence of friends (and some family) helped lifted up my mood... if I didn't turn up, you may be reading an earlier, more depressing blog post now. I actually forgot some of the depressing things I thought of earlier... so thanks to everyone. (I mean it in a good way; not sarcastically)
I wish I could restart all over again.
Friday, Seoul Garden buffet. Me, Eddie, Kfong. We ate to death, but Eddie could still go on... I never figured he was the marathon eater. Apparently we couldn't even eat dinner afterwards, except Kenneth... I don't get how he still could eat dinner...
I don't mean nor want to be "melancholic" (as Sheri puts it), but I will probably continue to be...
On Saturday, the actual Parents' Nite Banquet. I just marshaled traffic. There were lots of empty car spaces (11 were left, if you wanted to know), and most people keep going straight ahead, or park elsewhere instead of parking at our church basement carpark... I guess they thought they were late and had no hope of finding a space. I heard that the actual dining portion of the event went well. Thank God.
...until everything is resolved.
Now I'm really burnt out on what to write. I keep feeling the need to rewrite something... but I just don't know. I probably have to end soon. I apologize for the low frequency of updates to anyone who still reads (I wonder how many is that)... I would like to update more often, but then again, too many updates spawn lazy readers. I know that myself. This update, however, may be around for a long time, due to the fact that I would like to concentrate on other more important matters like school, school, school and work and recreation and play. Haha, don't try to understand that because it doesn't make sense.

Why I started blogging...

I don't know.

If you came here for an answer, that's the answer, I don't know.

Looking back, it started when my friend created his own blog, so I followed. I'm not sure the motives of my crazy 15 year old brain back then... maybe it seemed cool at that time... I don't know...

Over the years, it has been a platform for useless topics and rants, things that cannot be said in a sentence or a session, things I had to go home to think about before talking about... and it probably grew on me as a platform for self-expression. Honestly, I'm surprised I even got this far in blogging... because I'm not supposed to be here any more.

Why do I not update as often as I would? Simply this: no one reads. It says a lot. I believe that throughout the whole life of my blog, the maximum readership I ever had at any point of time was probably about four people. There may be more, but of course there's no way I can find out since some would not want their presence to be known. People just do not seem to want to use their browser effectively... but I shouldn't say too much, since I've already stopped bookmarking other peoples' blogs. I guess it's not worth my time reading them any more.

I am not ranting now, even though it may seem like it. I am just going about my normal blogging routine. Writing stuff I like to write about, things I probably am thinking about putting down somewhere to possibly dig up and read again. Then when time passes, I go back and laugh at my juvenile self. I'm guessing that if I'm going to read this for myself, I might as well take my time to write it. :)

And so... the Chinese New Year ends...

... not with a bang... but silently.

It has been a very eventful cny for me this year... but it's ending is so abrupt. Nothing major happened, nothing changed... except maybe for my desk but otherwise, everything else is unchanged. It gives me a sense of longing for something more... something I'm not even sure what. Possibly old times that will never resurface, or something intangible...

Occasionally I find myself thankful for the things I have, but I feel so helpless at the fact that I can't control much whatever goes on in my life...

I wish things could've turned out differently, but they will never. Blah, I need to stop looking at the past...

Happy Birthday to me...

That's right, it's my birthday. Envy my nice looking muffin!



Oh wait, did I just make that for myself? Crap... that is so saddeningly pathetic...

My Artistic Side (along with some boring stuffs)?

Blah, I know it's been a long time since I last blogged... just not much to blog I guess...

Ah ok, there's Christmas... it was great. Everyone came to my house, as usual. It was all good seeing everyone.

Then new years, great too. 2007 has been quite a blast... I dare say, a supernova.

And then I'm 20. More specifically, I'm 20 in 6 days time. No more a teen anymore... but well, at least I'm still young.

I've been considering whether the perception of myself being a mathematical, logic-oriented, scientific character is all a fraud... or "not the path I should be taking". Perhaps I really am more to the artistic side? In this year, I will be facing up with that heavily ignored side of me, again.

I remember my earliest recollections of my "artistic" adventures back in primary school. There was this school garden I drew... and it was possibly my best work; ignoring the fact that the proportions were all off; due to the level of detail and attention I paid to it. Then there was this ugly, flat building I drew a few years later. The teacher looked at it, inquired whether I drew this myself, then responded that I should not stop drawing... I didn't see what so great about that picture... I guess he liked the details... but guess what? I stopped (predictable). Well, this will give me something to add in my blog...

Oh and yes, I do play the Electone, but you know I'm talking about the physical art that appears in 2 dimensions.